Third Places (RESTO 08)
New Friends & Rekindled Connections
Hi Friends,
Work has consumed much of my life as of late, though there have been some highlights that have kept me trekking on without *major* burnout. The long weekend for President’s Day was insanity; on Monday I worked my first busy afternoon with two baristas (including myself) at the bar and literally went nonverbal for the rest of the evening. Tuesday’s morning shift was thankfully much slower, which gave me the chance to finalize a recipe I’ve been developing for WIP for the last couple of weeks (stay tuned, I will self-promo my ass off as soon as it’s released).
Working at WIP has made me reflect on “third places,” those primary locations aside from work and home where we dwell. The concept of the third place stems from sociologist Ray Oldenburg’s The Great Good Place (don’t worry, I had to Google this), and refers specifically to public spaces that facilitate social interaction outside of home and work.
Neighborhood coffee shops are a great example of third places, as are libraries, parks, and salons (unless you’re like me and get your nails done in an eerily deserted office building). I could go on and on about the TikTok-ification (yassification?) of sociology, but the growing public knowledge around third places is a damn good example of productive social media sociological rapport. While I can’t say I’ve made a considerable amount of friends at the Bryant Park library or the Central Park 72nd St dog park, I do often find myself venturing out for a drink or a bite and ending up with a new friend or a server I regularly return to.
As a customer who has always found solace in restaurants and coffee shops, I’ve realized that I’ve fallen in love with working at one, too. WIP in many ways operates as both my workplace and my third place; I love going to WIP outside of work to write or catch up with a friend, something I think most people can’t say about their workplaces.
While my last gig as a hostess at Kochi was fun, with every single service filled with customers celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, and other life milestones, there were much fewer regulars than at WIP, where locals and nearby employees stop in on the daily for a morning coffee or an afternoon pick-me-up. I miss the convenience of having customer information at my fingertips; it was so easy scrolling through Resy and finding customers’ full names, birthdates, the special occasions they’ve celebrated with us, and, for the regulars and big spenders, their wine-drinking history. At the same time, this new challenge of logging regulars in my mind to jot down their names, physical/professional associations, and sometimes their orders into my notes app at the end of each night has been a lot of fun; I’ve finally started to address a handful of customers by name, making them feel just welcomed, special, and a little more inclined to tip.
Through WIP I’ve also met so many new friends.
My coworkers are some of the kindest, most generous people I’ve come across. All of them have been welcoming from the start, adopting me into team dinners and social outings without a second thought, and I’ve cultivated some special friendships (and many coffee mentors!) within the team.
I also befriended a customer who happens to be a hilarious, intelligent foodie and Substack writer.
I met Eric of The Pass by EKGoal at WIP a few weeks back, when he commented on my US Open hat during a particular shift when I was probably on day three hair. We plunged into a very fast-paced conversation about asshole markers in NYC (aka my hat) over the register; little did I know he was there to write his weekly Substack post over a couple glasses of our now tapped out Sauv Blanc on tap. Thank God WIP started following me on IG just a couple of days before this chance meeting and Eric did the work of finding me through WIP’s following, because we hit it off with a bang and got to share our first meal together on Tuesday! More on that in a sec.
As the subtitle of this week’s post reads, I’ve also rekindled a connection from my past.
The writer, from last week’s poetry “aha!” moment, and I went to kindergarten, two trimesters of the first grade, and seventh grade together, though we were never friends and probably spoke a total of five sentences to each other in our lives. I ran into him as I was working the register on a particularly busy Saturday (well, not quite: I spotted him in the line three parties before he actually reached the register, but I digress), an unexpected but pleasant surprise as we exchanged a brief “How’s life?” chat before I suggested a coffee catch-up. To my surprise, that ask was received with more than a fibbing nod of agreement, and I’ve seen him a couple of times since that first encounter.
Despite the writer being the only substantial rekindling, I’ve had my fair share of what I will call resurfaces from the past!
I’ve run into a community college colleague, a couple of old coworkers, and some other elementary/middle school classmates at WIP; five years ago I probably would have winced, but I’m trying to be in my “kill ‘em with kindness” era (a couple of them gave me a look of apprehension, but I did genuinely enjoy getting to see them and have thirty-second surface-level convos). WIP’s also been a hub for many of my current close friends; what better way to catch up than over coffee at a cool cafe?
There are many other WIP-adjacent characters who have made their way into my life, from other employees of the CAMP (the plaza/center that we operate out of), friends of coworkers, and other random regulars who I particularly enjoy chatting it up with. I’m excited to keep navigating this fun balance of WIP as both a workplace and a third place.
Into this Week’s RESTO.
Reading: Some Poetry, Watching Some Films
As promised, I am trying to read more poetry, but that world is just so daunting! I want to dedicate more space for (and dwell a bit more on) poems and share an array of my recent reads, but until then, rest assured that I’m slowly chipping away at the poetic world, poem by poem. I obnoxiously tucked into some Sylvia Plath; maybe you literary foodies would love “Blackberrying,” too.
Other than browsing the web for relatable poems about food and New York, I watched a couple of films this past week. Love Hurts was genuinely as bad as the ratings depict it, but I thought it was comical to watch on the big screen.
I also finally watched Anora, which is growing on me the more I reflect on it! I really enjoyed all of the sexual and emotional tension running throughout the film, and without spoiling it, I thought the ending was the perfect way to encapsulate these complexities and avoid what would have felt like a major cliché ending. This one definitely made me miss Brighton Beach; perhaps I’ll have to make the trek down for some Eastern European grub while I’m in New York.
Eating: Some decent bites, most lackluster
Anyways, back to Tuesday night dinner: Eric and I visited Darkroom, a wine and shared plates concept I’d been eyeing for a few months now but haven’t had the chance or the right dining partner to visit. Eric and I had a very fruitful conversation about NYC restaurants, dating in OC, and general life things, but the dinner itself was (expectedly) underwhelming.
Let’s start with the Pros:
Pacing was pretty impeccable; plates came out staggered, leaving our table with food at all times and not a moment of waiting for what’s next. Chef Zac delivered a majority of our dishes, which was a nice personal touch to the experience.
Service was net-positive; both of our servers were hospitable and happy to share their preferences on the menu. Water glasses stayed not-empty, and check-ins were frequent yet not overbearing.
Kind of a pro and a con, but our male server strangely gave me a taster of one BTG whilst delivering a full glass of the wine I had ordered without a chance to taste before deciding. I admittedly really liked the other option, Jasmine, a floral counterpart to the straightforward German Riesling I opted for, and probably would have just gone for the funkier glass had I gotten the spiel in my original wine inquiry. Despite the strange way to go about things, I appreciated his gesture of sharing a sip just to give me a taste of something new.
The menu is remarkably innovative; we had such a hard time choosing because there were so many funky options that piqued my curiosity. As we ate, I think we both realized that perhaps the menu could have been great in theory but lacked proper execution; regardless, I think it’s a feat to be thinking up Nashville hot swordfish and savoury zucchini bread in this culinary innovation desert.
The Cons:
The Execution: The food was fine; nothing was repulsive, but nothing was great. Maybe I’m being pompous here, but I honestly think I could whip up a superior plate of fried olives on yogurt, and I know for a fact I could make a better tuna crudo or duck breast if given the right instruments and ingredients.
The Vibes/Aesthetic: There was definitely an attempt at a theme in this eatery, a vinyl room meets culinary innovation hotspot. In actuality, it felt kinda like an old millennial’s pinterest board stitched up with very, very loud music blasting throughout. The bold font, as Eric pointed out, is also atrocious, in a tacky, millennial, try-hard way.
This was still probably the culinary highlight of the week (that about sums up my current thoughts about OC’s dining scene).
Aside from Tuesday’s dinner, I made some curry and chicken salad for my family on Wednesday, and we got family lunch on Friday at O’Neill’s, the restaurant at Arroyo Trabuco Golf Club, which was worth the cost with our membership discount and a pleasant patio dining experience with the good weather and course view, but far from revolutionary.
Styling: Blues
My coworker Antonio dogeared a section of a Uniqlo magazine for me the other day:
He told me this was in response to my many shades of blue outfits, which was a funny coincidence, because I was just shopping for denim on denim outfits the day before (including trying on a few pieces at Uniqlo).
While I haven’t quite figured out my ideal denim-on-denim ensemble just yet, I do think this is a clear direction that my outfits have been leaning towards lately; fun takes on denim apparel with funky cuts that marry my love for Northeastern styles with the relaxed atmosphere of OC’s style scene.
Treating: Eric Kim’s NYT Gochujang Caramel Cookies
I made these cookies for the first time last year to bring to a couple of functions, and they were received well by all, so I wanted to test them out with my crowd on the other side of the country! I baked these for my family, coworkers, and friends, and they were generally enjoyed, though I do think most of my SoCal circles run more gustatorily conservative than my foodie, worldly (and liberal) friends in New York. I love this recipe because of how it challenges tastes, and I love Eric Kim even more, so this is a no-brainer to keep in my cookie recipe reserve.
Obsessing: Over Friendship!!
I’m not going to lie, it takes a lot for an introverted girl like myself to step out of her shell multiple days in a row. I thrive best in intimate environments (groups no larger than four), where there is ample room for conversation but even more space to listen. This past weekend was a good mix of all forms of social interaction; I spent Saturday morning grabbing bagels, sitting around at the Noguchi Garden, and checking out the OCMA before clocking into a very busy shift at WIP.
Sunday was a bit more chaotic (I didn’t snap a single photo on this day); I worked what felt like a neverending shift at WIP before sitting down with Eric to chat all things Substack and food, as we tend to do, and ended my night at Bayside OC’s first Worship Night with my coworker Nani to praise the Lord and cheer on our other coworker, Bailey. By the end of last night, I was EXHAUSTED (hence the late post, sorry not sorry); I met so many new and somewhat familiar faces at Worship Night and was working the register at WIP for most of my shift.
Even though I reaped the physical and mental side effects of social overdose, I really enjoyed my weekend. It was a reminder once again of how wonderful my job is and just how cool the people around me are.
Anyways, this post is getting extremely long, and I’m nearing the 11:59 PST deadline (sorry about the potential typos, I’m tired). Next week will be the last installation of RESTO before I head to New York, so I truly cannot wait to share more about what I’m doing in the city soon. Until then, I hope you all enjoy a wonderful week in and out of your third places.
With Love,
Anna
1) Can you show me how you format your pictures/ make collages? 2) Thanks for hyping me up 3) You're welcome for bringing up Resy meta data on your little smoke break 4) Did you read the article I used company resources for to print for you? 5) Let's explore the potential dimes square-ification (not derogatory) of WIP.
~EK